Wednesday, April 10, 2013

aLiGnMeNt...

Deep in the deep end I swim in EMOTIONs

Well, It depends....whether or not I want the intensity of being in her to deepen
Hold my breath.....Close my eyes.....
Allowing them to soak in me with each STROKE
Every dive...

and...
And...
Just sink so i STAYsubmerged
allowing the uncertainty of how to control them
to overwhelm me....
Engulf me....


Emotions

The warmth of these waters feel like a PASSION...
too much for me to adhere....
too much for me to REGISTER....
too much for me to contain...

I must come up for air...
or I'll BUST.
Staying in her love meant
I'd never BREATHE again.

So I swim....
UP as..
Bubbles of perplexed bliss leave my nostrils..
letting go of what understanding I thought I had..
in those MOMENTS 

whatever i felt....i LEFT in those moments...
only to realize when i came back to my life's 
surface....
 that I was nowhere near ready for her....
to serve PURPOSE...

Since I LACKED...
Alignment....


Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Thoughts of She......

I'm just Dr.Jekyll'n so i can hide my emotions, Plastered, wasted, captured, hasty when it comes to women,
my weakness, my hunger, but the way i court should be outlawed for the hearts that I've slaughtered...
dying for something they believed in martyr.  These traits I've received due the sins of my father....as nice as I've tried to be with these no relationships,titles, the women I come across minds stuck on David's Bridal....with baby stroller dreams...for their friends they idol. Well those whose life seemed to pan out right...good jobs...nice house...2 whips...good price..one husband...one wife...
Then these visions come back to me like...
when we....can we....how long...how come...why not....come on......losing patience....the horn
goes off....like the end of 1st quarter...
I respond with the We'll sees.....my routes....different journey....don't doubt's.....only time will tell's....I'm just tryna be real....is this too much for you to handle....
no one wants to hear it though...everyone wants it now..... i'm like how....when I'm tryna figure it out...get those pieces together so baby slowwww down.....