How Long is Patience?

Fighting....Fighting....Fighting me...

 Internally

 Mind fucking anxiety

 created by my alter

 Egotistical

 wanting shit my way

 instead of doing what my conscious needing

 Feeding procrastination like its breathing

 aka Demon

 God trying to pull me and I'm resisting

 so persisting

 probably cause I'm mad at the confusion

 of the good life allusion

 more so hate myself

 trying to figure out how to be normal

 but my thoughts control me

 Overwhelming

 Suicidal Future 

 Killing dreams before they launch

 Insane

 is what i label it, retarded slow

 Repeating the same mistakes and knowing it

 Destination doom,for continuing

 Positive people who believe in my abilities

 Love them,but its not enough

I'm still stopping my birth, infertility 

 Responsibility to self

 Don't Let Chris Die

 Save his Life as he Cries

 Inside Screaming,

Weak is what he feels,but so much stronger than many

Angry, just paining

 while im still wanting to leave my mark,

 Staining

 the memories of the readers

 just listen to the this painting

 this is why i call this piece

 How long is Patience?